


Your Words Hit Me Like a Hard Rain In LA

by iknewyoutoo



Category: Chicago Med
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Disorder, Ava is a Mess, F/F, Fluff, Panic Attacks, Sad but cute, anxious! ava, ava bekker needs a hug, deserves better, domestic?, gays being gay, reese also needs a hug, sarah is also a mess, theyre sad, try not to cry challege
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:27:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28039194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iknewyoutoo/pseuds/iknewyoutoo
Summary: They need each other.
Relationships: Ava Bekker & Sarah Reese, Ava Bekker/Sarah Reese
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Your Words Hit Me Like a Hard Rain In LA

**Author's Note:**

> okay hayyyy chapter 1 i hope ur excited to read! anxious ava hc is one of my favourite things and i can give you so much canon evidence so i thought i'd write ab it :) enjoy !

Silence crept down the hallway as Sarah approached the solid wooden door of her apartment. The dim lighting and tranquillity was the antithesis of Med’s glaring lights and bustling floors; she soaked up every second, thankful for the safety of peace and quiet. Reaching for the keys in her pocket, Sarah glanced up at the number on her door: 23. Her girlfriend’s favourite. The door unlocked with a slight click as she concealed a small smile. Pushing it open, Sarah called out for the one person she knew would be there. “Ava?” she queried softly. 

No response. 

‘Maybe she didn’t hear me’ the brunette thought to herself as she stepped further into the daylight lit room. A little louder. “Ava? Are you here?”.   
Again, no response. 

Picking up her pace, Sarah began to panic; it wasn’t like Ava to ignore her when she returned from work. Just before the brunette reached their bedroom, she stopped dead in her tracks. The apartment was no longer filled with silence, muffled sobs echoed from the other side of the sophisticated white door. Sarah’s instincts kicked in. She knew Ava well, extremely well. Well enough to know exactly what was going on. 

Tapping on the door gently, Sarah called for her girlfriend once again. “Ava?”, her voice cracked faintly. The sobs became even more obscured, but even Ava, master of concealment, couldn’t hide her shortness of breath. Sarah descended further into panic; empathy really could be her worst enemy at times, but she had to be there for her girlfriend. She couldn’t let Ava suffer alone, not when she loves her as much as she does.

Taking a deep breath, Sarah pushed open the door apprehensively. There Ava was, crumpled in the corner, head buried in a pillow trying to hide her emotions. She hated vulnerability more than anything. Sarah dropped her bags. “Ava oh my god” she gasped, rushing to the blonde’s side. “Are you okay? What happened?!” she exclaimed. Ava looked up, removing the pillow from her face. Tears were streaming down her face, mascara smudged on her burning red cheeks, she was struggling to catch her breath and shaking more violently than a magnitude 10 earthquake. Sarah didn’t even need her psychiatry residency to know what this was: a panic attack. Although not rare for Ava due to her anxiety disorder, the brunette wasn’t quite sure her girlfriend had ever had one this bad. Ava looked so small and helpless like this; Sarah couldn’t help but hate it, and she knew Ava would hate it too. The blonde’s breathing became worse as she heaved sharply and irregularly, struggling for air. Ava wasn’t coping.

Sarah’s instincts kicked in. “Okay okay, Aves? I’m gonna need you to look at me okay” she said firmly. Avoiding eye contact, Ava looked up, struggling to keep herself together. “Perfect” the brunette articulated carefully, “We’re gonna do a breathing exercise together now okay?”. Ava nodded weakly. “Okay so breathe in for two…” Sarah demonstrated, Ava followed, “and out for two… brilliant Aves you’re doing amazing keep going” the pair repeated the exercise for just close to ten minutes, until Ava’s breaths had returned to normal.

Still crying, the blonde attempted to get up and leave, clearly embarrassed by what had just occurred. She took one step and instantly wobbled. “Woah, careful” Sarah uttered, pulling Ava back down onto their bed besides them. Obviously upset, the blonde let out a wail that hurt Sarah’s heart to hear. “Aves...” she whispered, running her hand meticulously through Ava’s tangled locks of hand spun gold. The brunette didn’t want to pry, so instead, she wrapped herself around her distraught girlfriend just to remind her that she’s always there. 

Eventually, Ava sat up; cheeks stained black, eyes a painful red. Sarah lifted her head to follow. It was dark now; they must’ve fallen asleep entangled for god knows how long. The sight of the sky cloaked in a dark blue cape with twinkling lights of fluorescent white seemed to panic Ava again. Sarah grabbed her hand and squeezed it, tight. “I’m late.” the blonde blurted out. “Aves... don’t worry about it… you should call in sick, Goodwin can always get Connor to cover for you, y’know, with what happened earlier and all.” Sarah said cautiously, wary of her girlfriend’s need to appear perfect. Ava gulped. “O- okay” her voice cracked gently, “I- I’m sorry you had to see that Sar, I- I took my meds I don’t know what happened.” the blonde murmured, holding back tears. Sarah pulled her into her warmest hug, “Aves” she croaked, proud of Ava’s vulnerability, “don’t ever, apologise for something you can’t control. I know it feels like the end of the world for you, but we all have bad days, and I will always, be here to help you through them. I love you more than anyone I’ve ever met.”

Those last few words caught Ava off guard. She paused. 

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm hoping chapter 2 will be out soon, but w me u never know so ! come scream at me on twitter if you'd like (@ivyonvinyl). anyway yea i hope u liked this enough to want a chapter 2 & thank you sm for reading !


End file.
